03 May 2007

Constant quasi-aesthetic, predictable, bleeding-heart liberal nonsense

In the interest of upping our post count, we're thinking of turning el segundo americano into a movie review site - by which we naturally mean a site for reviews that are actually ranting critiques.

Hard for me to say all the ways I hated Constant Gardener, but we can start with the fact that the opening 5 minutes show you the climax of the film that will come halfway through. What is up with this trend of telling you what's going to happen first, and then tracing out the logical story toward its happening? Worse still, 15 minutes into the movie you know EXACTLY what is going to happen and why. It's told like a mystery/thriller, but there's absolutely nothing mysterious here. It's painfully obvious from the very beginning what's going on. In the end, I suppose liberals are supposed to feel good about the fact that there was great acting and good cinematography, and the message was put out (but without causing any real conflict) that it's a bad thing to, as Bono puts it, 'flush the continent of Africa down the toilet'.

But the movie isn't willing to say that; instead it tells us that 'each and every life is precious', although the narrative itself doesn't believe that since we're clearly meant to greive for the white woman (and to nominate Ralph Fiennes for an Oscar because of how well he grieves - though mainly he keeps his English stiff upper lip and looks pretty).

And finally, as Rebecca points out, who the hell writes hand-written letters today?


sageblue said...

I do. I just wrote one to my Grandma and my Aunt Judy.

Bought my paper at Crane, but also used some stationery from the Hilton Long Beach.

Yes, I wrote a dissertation on epistolary fiction, why do you ask?

fronesis said...

OK, I'll concede the point: you writer letters. But how about a follow-up: would you write hadwritten letters that contained information guaranteed to ruin your career (that's why I ask, but I was trying not to give away the plot of the film).

sageblue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sageblue said...

Oh, well, no. I only write hand-written letters that usually detail the weather, gambling losses, and goings-on at Stonesthrow. The last two might damage my career, but probably wouldn't guarantee ruin:)