Drink up: coca-cola or motor oil?

In my youths, I used to imbibe beverages that come in cans and are called 'cola' or 'pop' or 'soda' depending on the region of the US you are from (and 'soft drink' here in the UK which seems so refined and high-falutin' in a way). I realised sometime in late high school/college that those pains in my stomach seemed, fascinatingly, to be correlated to the aftermath of drinking said beverages. I kept on drinking them for a bit and then just stopped. Weirdly, the pain went away. huh.

Fast forward to 2003: we move. I find in move's aftermath that I own a rather rusted-out cast iron skillet. I google to find out whether I can resuscitate it. The answer: yes (for it is google and people in the world have too much time on their hands). The solution: Coca-cola. Soak rusty cast iron skillet in Coke overnight and voilà: clean as a whistle. Sure, I'd heard about the dissolving penny/nail trick, so while this is, er, disgusting, especially when pondering the amount of such beverages myself and those I know consumed/still consume. But I was happy, I had cast iron skillet, I cured it (thanks to google) and was on my way.

Fast forward to this week: F buys a putter on e-bay. Seems the putter has a factory coating on it to protect the head and face (I have another post about the anatomical metaphors related to golf and their weirdness, but that's for later). This particular type is also prone to a bit of spotty light rust. There are two solutions to this.

One: follow method above used for cast iron pan. This works, but the Coke takes the rust and the coating, which isn't optimal.
Two: soak head of putter in motor oil. Much milder than the Coke, it only takes the rust and leaves the coating behind! Wonderful!

Stoat: You're not really taking into consideration the toxicity of the motor oil, chemical properties that might effect humans more than putters, and really, why don't you ease up? Coke's the national drink! Get over yourself!

Me: er, what are you doing here?

Stoat: voice of reason my friend. voice of reason.

So, we conclude: patriotic duty. But please, drink motor oil. Much milder.